Brodkey

这几天柴米油盐辛苦，抽空拆开了New Yorker CD，随意browse了一下，居然发现这么个人，以前从来没有听说的，一看他的简历却不由得感叹：Wow! How typical!

Brodkey象是 Sylvia Plath, Erica Jong 们的男性镜子。他出生的年代和普拉斯差不多，上了哈佛，也是在校园里混，写小说，赶上了性革命，于是 experimented with homosexuality.这个“试验”很有意思，似乎是他有意调皮捣蛋玩新花招，而不是受到天生的无法改变、无法控制的同性恋倾向的驱使；他果然后来就改邪归正，娶了老婆过上了“正常”生活，还生了孩子。

简历介绍说，他最后一次的同性恋遭遇却给了他艾滋病。于是，他用从前记录二十世纪性革命的笔，记录一个艾滋病人等待死亡的种种心态。他还不错，毕竟还是活了66岁。

二十世纪最伟大的革命都失败了，两次大战，“东”方的共产主义革命，西方的性革命。：）Sylvia Plath 自杀了，Brodkey得了艾滋病，怪不得人类在二十一世纪又在走向保守。：）


http://www.haroldbrodkey.com/
This Wild Darkness
Harold Brodkey (10.25.30 to 01.26.96)

I am practicing making entries in my journal, to record my passage into nonexistence. This identity, this mind, this particular cast of speech, is nearly over.
It starts in my sleep, a partly dreamed memory of being young and about to wake to the life of a young man. This morning I was playing basketball with Michael Jordan, and I was as big as he was, or bigger. What a mass of roles, of personae, is mixed in when one is ill, alongside the self-loathing and self-protection, the recurring simplicity and the terror. My identity is as a raft skidding or gliding, borne on a flux of feelings and frights, including the morning's delusion (which lasts ten minutes sometimes) of being young and whole.